When we chat with people about what we do, Shrinking Thinking seems to really resonate with everyone – they LOVE the concept, and agree wholeheartedly that it would make a HUGE difference to how they feel about themselves, their body and their lives.
Yet the reality is that most people still do nothing. They stay stuck where they are, and don’t do anything to change, even though they say they desperately want to. It’s taken us a while to understand why this is, and we’ve finally realised that it’s because…
- stop hating their body
- stop bingeing on comfort food / drink
- stop dieting
- start something new
- be honest with themselves
- take action
- be themselves
- be happy
Most people are actually happy where they are in their lives, even though they hate themselves. And do you know what, that’s absolutely OK!! It’s comfortable, it’s easy & they know what to do each day to stay the same. They’re (almost) happy with being unhappy, they’re happy being stuck, if that makes sense. It’s easy to complain about how they look and feel, they get sympathy from their friends who say “oh I know how you feel, it’s so hard isn’t it”, and they all get comfortable together being unhappy & sharing their self disgust….
There’s a lady I meet most months at different events, and almost every time she sees me she says “oh, I must do something about my weight, I really do want to join you, I completely get it, and it’s perfect for me. The thing is….” and then gives me another excuse (oops, sorry) reason for not taking action:
- I bought some weight loss products a while ago, they’re still in my cupboard unopened, but I need to give that a go first… I’ll come back to you when I have…
- I’m so busy with my work, I really want to join you, but I’ll give you a shout when it’s a bit quieter…
- All my free time is spent helping my daughters & grandchildren with babysitting, taxi-services & homework duty. I really want to do this, but I have to focus on them first…
This might feel harsh, but I know this lady just isn’t ready to do ANYTHING about her weight, or how she feels about herself – YET! Yes, she hates how she looks, and pays lip-service to the idea of changing (she buys slimming products, & occasionally attends a diet club but then quickly loses the motivation & stops going). The reality is, nothing has changed in the years I’ve known her, and I really don’t think anything will, until she’s truly ready to do some – or all – of the following:
- stop hating her body – and learn to either love it, or change it.
- stop bingeing on comfort foods – in her case, cakes and chocolate every evening
- stop dieting – and recognise that starving during the day & bingeing at night is harming her
- start something new –and commit to herself that she’s worth the effort of changing
- be honest with herself – about what she truly wants
- take action – consistent, daily baby steps, towards who & how she really wants to be
- change – her mindset – to one of self-worth, commitment and action
- be herself – stop hiding & connect with her beautiful, true inner self
- be happy – stop hating herself, start living, be happy in the now, today!
It’s our job as Shrinking Thinking coaches to help our clients become AWARE of what’s keeping them stuck. We help them get uncomfortable with being stuck, and help bring their thinking, emotions, habits and behaviour into their conscious awareness, then give them the tools, support & encouragement they need to make the changes they truly want in their lives. For some, that’s learning to love themselves just as they are, with whatever shape, size or weight they’re at. Believe me, that’s a fabulous result, and one we’re very proud of helping them achieve! For others, it’s helping them on the road to a healthier lifestyle and a gradual, safe weight loss over time. Another great outcome!
It all starts with people being ready to make changes, and we know most people are NOT ready. But if you’re NOT “most people” and you ARE ready, take a look at our Shrinking Thinking Community & Clarity Programme pages!